Have you ever noticed how people seem to notice that your behaviour towards them has changed but never seem to remember what they did that caused it? Human beings have a habit of remembering the negatives more than the positive. For example, you could provide a wonderful service to an individual and politely asked them to leave a review on Yelp or Google. This individual will likely promise you that he or she will definitely leave a positive 5-star review, but 8 out 10 times, this promise will not be fulfilled.
Now, give the same person a bad service, and you will see the speed at which he or she rushes to Yelp, Google and every site that allows he or her to leave a review. People react more to negative than positive. Negative experiences are much more remembered than positive ones. This is the primary reason why women will always talk about that one boyfriend that treated them badly while at the same time they have a hard time remembering the nice guys they have dated since that one bad boyfriend.
Today I will be covering a very important skill everyone needs to acquire. This skill is extremely effective and it stops peoples nonsense on its track. This technique is called the mirror technique.
In the previous paragraphs, I talked about how people have an inert habit of remembering the negatives more than positives. With this mirror technique, you don’t have to do any of the work, the person in front of you does all the work but since most people behaviours are actually negative or pretentious, you will become memorable. You will be known as the no-nonsense man or woman.
Looking at the title of this article, it is quite easy to understand this method but because something seems obvious and simple doesn’t mean that most people will find it obvious and simple. So let us start by understanding the simple phrase “mirror“.
What Is A Mirror
A mirror is primarily a noun. An object that reflects but it can also be used as a verb to express a situation, as in reflecting or mimicking a thing or situation. Google Analytical shows that majority of the visitors to this website are not native English speakers. This is why I try as much as possible to use simple words and easy to understand sentences. That’s why am explaining what a mirror is.
When you look in a mirror, what do you see? You might say I see myself. Yes, you do but what you see in a mirror is an inverted representation. This means if two people are shaking hands using their right hands and you saw its reflection in a mirror, the mirror will present it to you as two people shaking hands with their left hands. Always pay attention to this subtle details. But what is certain is that the mirror will always reflect back whatever is in its front albeit inverted.
In this article, we are focusing on reflecting back whatever behaviour an individual is displaying towards us. The emphasis is on “reflection“, this is what a mirror does. It reflects back. Now we know what a mirror is in both the noun and verb sense, we are in a better position to understand the mirror technique.
The Mirror Technique
I have said it several times in my articles that although I like to quote biblical verses, this blog is not a Christian blog. It is a blog about understanding life, people, circumstances and the invisible laws that govern our reality. So you will continue to see biblical verses on this site because the Holy Bible is the number one self-help book there is. Every other self-help book is secondary to the Bible.
On that note, I shall try to explain this important life technique called the mirror technique by quoting the Scripture. In the book of James 4:8 KJV, it is written: “Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you.” This is the mirror technique in a nutshell. It is not some insidious technique to manipulate people. It is a system used by the Infinite Mind. The bible verse says: Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. This means if you are far from God, He will also be far from you. If you move closer to Him, He will move closer to you.
The Universal Mind uses the mirror technique, so why shouldn’t you? You should use the mirror technique in all your dealings with your fellow man or they will start losing respect for you.
The Mirror Technique is simply you reflecting back the behaviour of an individual back to them. Whatever behaviour an individual is displaying, it is your duty and responsibility to reflect it back to them. God uses this technique, so why shouldn’t you. You might say, “the behaviour the person is displaying is below me. I don’t want to sink to their level“. This is your decision but I can guarantee you that that person won’t have more respect for you because you chose not to reflect their behaviour back to them.
I have tried both the technique of walking away and not sinking to the person’s level and the mirror technique, and I can say without a shadow of a doubt, that the mirror technique is 10 times more effective in knocking some common sense into the person’s head than just walking away and being the “bigger man“.
How To Use The Mirror Technique
Although am an advocate of the mirror technique, I want to state it here, that there is a limit. If someone set fire to your house, don’t set fire to there house. Report them to the Police. The same rule applies to if someone attacks you physically, defend yourself but don’t attack them physically. Report them to the necessary authorities.
The mirror technique use is mostly limited to non-physical violent things. You use the mirror technique in the following ways:
(1) If the person is cold and distant; you also become cold and distant.
(2) If the person is disrespectful towards you; you also become disrespectful towards them.
(3) If the person is warm and friendly towards you; you also become warm and friendly towards them.
(4) If the person looks down on you; you also look down on them.
(5) If the person never invites you to their social gatherings and parties; you also don’t invite them to your social gatherings and parties.
(6) If the person sees you as a lower class; you also perceive them as a lower class.
(7) If the person is nurturing and caring towards you; you are also nurturing and caring towards them.
There are countless situations to use the mirror technique but the 7 examples above should give you a clear understanding of how to use the mirror technique. It is just you mirroring whatever behaviour an individual is displaying.
When not to use the mirror technique:
(1) If someone attacks you with an object or gun.
(2) If someone attacks you physically without an object.
(2) If someone sets your house on fire.
(3) If someone kills your family member.
(4) If someone kills your pet.
Above are examples of when you should NEVER use the mirror technique. If any of the situations mentioned above happens to you, report it to the Police or the relevant authorities. But you should always defend yourself within the legal limit and emphasis is on the phrase “defend“. Defending yourself against an attack is very different to you attacking the person attacking you. Know the difference.
The Mirror Technique is primarily used to neutralise other people bad and disrespectful behaviours. The mirror technique is the only technique that makes people sit up and take notice. If you continue to let bad and disrespectful behaviours to “slide“, they will only get worse.
Give people an inch to treat you badly, they will use up a mile. Give them a mile, they will travel thousands of miles. People don’t appreciate good behaviours. They don’t appreciate when you are trying to be the bigger person. “Meeting fire with fire” is what people respond to and respect.
If you don’t want to be other people’s doormat, you better start applying the mirror technique. When you smile at someone and they respond with a frown, why should you continue wasting your positive smile on that person? If you carry on smiling at them, they will think that you are below them that’s why you carry on smiling at them. But frown right back at them immediately they frown at you and watch as they slowly withdraw their ugly frown.
Smile at those who smiled at you and frown at those who frowned at you. Stop being a people pleaser.
I hope you’ve found this article useful in one way or the other. If you know anyone who might find it useful, please be kind enough to share it with them using the share buttons at the top of this article. Please also share it on your social media pages. Someone might find it helpful.
Also, you are free to use this article for teaching. All I asked for is to be properly referenced.
Have a wonderful day.