There are five basic human needs, these are (1) Physiological needs, (2) Safety needs, (3) Love and belongingness needs, (4) Esteem needs and (5) Self-actualization needs. This article is about the third most important human need and how you can attract it. Am not just talking attracting love but attracting your own ideal love and lover.
I have always believed that most things in life are easy to attain once you know the step by step process or formula to acquire them. This article will show you what you need to do in order to attract the right romantic partner into your life. So let’s begin.
Am sure you must have heard about something called the Law of Attraction. If you haven’t I suggest you watch a movie called, The Secret. The movie is about The Law of Attraction and how it works. I will be using spiritual principles and rules of the Law of Attraction to show you how to attract your perfect 10 into your life.
Birds of the same feather flocks together is an old adage but it’s absolutely true. This adage alludes to a law that precedes the Law of Attraction, this law is called the Law of Vibration. This law is responsible for why similar types of people seem to enjoy each other company. It is also responsible for why people who look like the complete opposite of each other seems to get along really well.
The reason you are attracted to some certain type of people is because, you and those people vibrate at a similar frequency. You might not be aware of this vibrational frequency, still, it exists. It doesn’t matter if outwardly you look poles apart from them, what matters is the invisible vibration frequency. You will always be attracted to those who are vibrating at a similar frequency as you.
This Law of Vibration isn’t just restricted to romantic relationships. In business, friendship, love, partnership and etc, you will automatically be drawn towards people who are in a similar vibration frequency as you.
Everyone who ever came into your life in one capacity or the other was a result of you two been a vibration match. It doesn’t matter if you disliked or hated them, or if they were the complete opposite of you. What you should know is that those people could have only manifested in your life because the vibration of the both of you was in harmony at the time you two met. It will be impossible for people who are not a vibration match for you to come into your life.
The great thing about vibrations is that they are not fixed. You can move them upward or downward depending on your daily habits. Your vibration is really who you are. If you are still not sure, who you are or your vibration frequency, then simply take stock of your life and the people in it.
When I say the people in your life, I mean the people you spend time with on a regular basis, this will give you a clear indication of the type of person you really are. Most people have no clue about there true nature. Some “bad” people actually believe that they are the opposite of “bad” because they don’t want to confront themselves and admit their flaws.
Again take stock of the people in your life and then ask yourself these questions: If I have a child, are these the type of people I will be happy for my child to spend time with? Are these people a positive or negative influence on me? Are these people constantly helping me to increase in value and become a better person? Your answers to these questions will quickly paint an honest picture of who you truly are to you because “birds of the same feathers flock together.“
Knowing who you are will help you identify the areas of your life that you need to work on. The fact is that no one will ever attain perfection, continuous personal growth is the only thing you can strive for. But you can’t really grow if you don’t know who you are and what you want out of life.
The problem why most relationships fail is because at the beginning none of the people involved in it knew who they are and what they really want. So, they really don’t know the purpose of the relationship.
So, before I show you how to attract your perfect partner, I must first help you find out who you really are. After this, I will show you how you can attract your perfect partner. The first question then is who are you?
(1) Who Are You?
Do you know why the media can manipulate the masses at will? It is because most people are lacking a sense of who they are. Do you know that if you approach 10 people and ask each of them, “can you tell me who you are, and I don’t mean your name, family, friends or job?“, majority of them won’t have anything to say to you.
In my teenage years, my mother made sure I knew who I am. She considered this extremely important. In her view, a man who doesn’t know who he is is not really a man because other people can easily manipulate and use him at will.
In my opinion, this applies to all gender. Everyone must know who they are and what they stand for. It is only when you know who you are that you can object to being pushed around, taken advantage of or manipulated at will.
Emotional abuse in relationships can always be traced back to the abuser taking advantage of the abused not having a complete sense of self. It’s extremely difficult for someone who has a strong sense of self to stay in an abusive relationship. By the way, am not making any excuses for the abuser. Am only saying that those who have a strong sense of who they are won’t tolerate an abusive relationship of any kind.
When you know who you are, then it becomes really difficult for anyone to push you around or take advantage of you. A person who knows who he or she is; knows his or her personal values. So what values define you?
(2) What Are Your Values?
Your values define who you are. I, for example, have many values, at the top of these values is loyalty. I can’t deal with anyone who I consider to be disloyal. Because I will give you my loyalty and I ask the same in return.
So, the question you must ask yourself is this: What are my values? If for some strange reasons you don’t have any values; here are some values you should strive to attain and ingrain into your personality: Caring, Compassionate, Loving, Reliable, Honesty, Loyal, Dependable, Kind, Trustful, Ethical, Courtesy, Forgiving, Appreciative, Gratitude, Integrity, Loving, Friendly, Sensitive, Respectful, Optimistic, Tolerance, Devotion, Dedication, Determined, Resilience and Hopeful.
When you know what your values are, then you know who you really are. You might have some traits which you are not proud of, but you can always work on these traits and turn them into something good.
For example, I used to believe that am too stubborn until my mum made it clear to me that I was just determined, that there’s nothing wrong with being determined. Saying this, there is a thin line between being determined and being really stubborn to your own detriment.
Obviously, if you have a destructive trait such as anger or malice, then you need to really work on that. There are several books on Amazon on how to fix those types of traits.
Before you continue reading I want you to take a sheet of paper, write out your values, your flaws and how you want to be defined by others. If people have always pushed you around or taken advantage of you in all your relationships, now is the time to start the change.
When you write out your values, include some values you don’t currently possess but would like to have. I will advise you to forget about your flaws for now. Knowing that they exist is good enough for now. I have come to realise that the cure for character flaws begins immediately we become aware of them.
Immediately you become aware of a flaw, your Higher Self will work tirelessly to redeem you from that character flaw and the power it has over you. The same is true when you identify a quality you don’t currently possess but you would like to have.
For example, let’s say while you were writing down your values you included loyalty as one your values even though you know you are a disloyal person, the fact that deep down you want to be a loyal person, will set things in motion that will lead you to people and places where you will be “taught and trained” on how to be loyal. But it will always be up to you to execute.
Once you have a clear understanding of what your values are, then you can summarize it in one simple sentence. I call this simple sentence life motto.
(3) What Is Your Life Motto?
A motto is defined as a maxim adopted as an expression of the guiding principle of a person OR a sentence, phrase, or word expressing the spirit or purpose of a person.
Most big companies have a motto which they use as their guiding principle. For example, Mercedes-Benz motto is “Nothing but the best.” This means that, in everything that Mercedes-Benz is involved in as a company, they simply won’t settle for anything less than the very best.
By now, you know what your values are and what you stand for, so answer this simple question: What is your life motto?
In a simple sentence, write out your life motto. Your life motto is your guiding principle. It is the answer you give when someone asks you: Who are you? So, for your own sake, write one down now.
(4) What Is Your Life Vision?
Having a life vision is different from having a goal. A vision is “the complete thing” while goals are components that make up your vision.
An example of life vision is something like “establishing a hospital that provides free health care services in South America”. If this was your life vision then your goals will include the following: (1) Train and become a qualified medical doctor, (2) Raise funds for the purchase of medical equipment, land and staff salaries, (3) Build the hospital, (4) Get the right license, (5) Register the hospital as a charity and etc.
When you carefully consider the difference between a vision and a goal, you will quickly notice that the difference in size is enormous.
Research has shown that if a woman doesn’t have a life vision it has rarely ever contributed to the demise of a relationship but when a man is without a life vision, he will quickly become boring to his partner.
There is no other way to say this than that, a man without a life vision is aimlessly going from pillar to pose without actually making any real progress. In addition to this, if this man manages to attract a woman, within 12 months, the relationship will quickly develop into a boring routine.
A man without a life vision or purpose will always struggle to attract his perfect 10 because he will simply be devoid of that “spark of life“, he will be lacking the “vitality of life” in him.
When you have a life vision or purpose that you are constantly working on, you will be excited about life, there will be springs in your steps and you will never be a needy person because your life vision takes up your free time.
To everyman reading this, if you want to attract and keep your ideal partner, you must have a life vision which you are constantly working on. This will make you incredibly more attractive and prevent your relationship from becoming stale.
(5) What Are Your Interest And Hobbies?
Interest and hobbies look like a basic thing but they are vitally important to your mental and physical wellbeing. Anyone who doesn’t have a hobby or interest that they are passionate about will definitely be needy in a romantic relationship. There’s no way around this fact.
This is because they will try to fill the void in there life with the attention they get from there romantic partner. This void should have been filled by there hobbies or interest.
I have met a few people who for some strange reason don’t have any hobby or interest. I usually find this type of people boring and without the “spark of life“.
So, if you are reading this and you do not have any hobby or interest that you are passionate about, please, please find one. It will really boost your attractiveness.
If you are struggling to decide on what you like or what might suit your personality, I suggest you should just give each one a go.
For a start do the following (1) Attend a dancing lesson – Salsa is great, (2) Visit your nearest gym and ask for a Day Pass just to try out the equipment and the environment, (3) Get a bicycle and cycle through safe routes – This means routes without heavy presence of motor vehicles, (4) Attend an adult art or drawing class, (5) Join your local running club, (6) Attend a cooking class. These six activities tryouts will help you figure out what works for you because some of them are physical and intense while some are done in a calm, relaxed environment.
Doing these little things will awaken something inside of you that have been looking for ways to express itself through you. There are several great hobbies and interest. Am sure you can find at least three that suits you. Meetup.com is a great website for finding and meeting people who are interested in the same things as you. I suggest you check it out.
(6) Are You In Good Shape?
Are you in good shape? Are you fit and healthy? This is a question you must answer. It’s rare to find someone who is attracted to overweight people. The fact is that most people simply do not find overweight people attractive. So, if you’re overweight, the chances of you attracting your ideal partner are really slim unless your ideal partner is an overweight person.
In the UK we have an online tool which we use to determine if we are underweight, healthy, overweight or at risk of some serious health issue. This tool is called the Body Mass Index (BMI) tool. I encourage you to use this tool to check if you are in good shape or not. Here is the link for the BMI online tool >> https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/healthy-weight/bmi-calculator/
Most of the time when I ask someone “are you in good shape?”, they automatically assume I meant six pack type of body shape. Going to the gym is great only if you know what you are doing there but what am really interested in, is, what you are putting in your body.
What types of food do you eat on a regular basis? If you eat junk, you will struggle to be in good shape. You are what you eat. From my experience, I would say 80% of your health and fitness is linked to what you eat and 20% is linked to exercise and lifestyle.
You know yourself, so you know if you are in good shape physically or not. If you are in doubt, use the BMI tool. If you are not in good shape, then your first remedy is to correct your diet. Am not an expert dietitian, but there are loads of information about healthy eating and foods online. Google is your best friend in this regard.
The next thing after eating well is exercise and lifestyle. These include: walking, jogging, running, cycling, lifting heavy stuff, sleeping well and etc. Also reduce your alcohol intake to the bare minimum. If you smoke, I encourage you to quit. Am sure you know full well that smoking is bad for your health.
Being in good shape will definitely make you a lot more attractive than the person who isn’t. Humans are programmed to both consciously and subconsciously seek out healthy mates.
Now that we have covered what you need to work on, let’s now cover what your ideal partner should be and what you want from your them.
(7) What Inner Traits Do You Want Your Ideal Partner To Have?
At this point, you’ve already figured out who you are and what your values are. The primary aim of this article is to help you attract your own ideal partner, not someone else ideal partner. Your ideal partner could be my nightmare partner and vice versa. So, what’s important is that you attract your own ideal partner.
In Matthew 7:7, it says: Ask and it shall be given unto you. The phrase “Ask” is what am working with right now. That simple phrase is incredibly important. This is because most people don’t know what they want but they will complain when they get something and for some reason, they don’t like it.
When you “ASK“, you know what is it that you want. If you call up your friend right now and say something in the line of “Hey, I need your help“, he or she will probably ask you “how can I help you?” You might say “I need you to help me accept my grocery delivery. It will be delivered between 4:30 pm and 5:30 pm. And I won’t be around during that time.” If it’s possible for your friend to help you accept the grocery, am sure he or she will probably do it.
But if you call up your friend and ask him or her for there help but when they ask you “how can I help you?“, you have nothing to say because you don’t know what you need there help for, they will probably think you’ve gone crazy; this is what most people do when it comes to attracting a romantic partner.
What most people know is that they want a romantic partner. Some of them have a broad idea of how their ideal partner should look physically but most of them don’t give any consideration to the inner qualities they want from there potential lover. So, which inner qualities do you want your ideal romantic partner to have?
Take a blank sheet of paper, write on top of it: The Inner Qualities My Ideal Partner Must Have. After you have done this, bring out the sheet of paper where you wrote down your values, this list will guide you in writing the inner qualities you desire in your ideal romantic partner.
You have to be honest with yourself in this exercise if you are a dishonest person, you shouldn’t be writing “honesty” as one of the inner qualities you want from your ideal partner. Don’t ask another person to live by a standard you can’t live by. But you can always desire a complementary quality in a partner. For example, if you are masculine person, you can desire that your partner should be feminine. In this case, femininity will be one of the inner qualities on your list.
Remember, your values and the inner qualities you desire from your ideal partner must be complementary. This means that your ideal partner inner qualities must be “in-line” with your values.
(8) What Are The Physical Characteristics You Want In Your Ideal Partner?
By now you should have known the inner qualities you desire in your ideal partner. So, let’s move on to physical traits. What’s your ideal partner height? What built is your preference? What about hair colour? Eye colour? You should know these things. The trick is to have your own ideal range. Example: Height – 5.7ft to 6ft, Eye Colour – Not Important, Built: Slim or Athletic, Hair Colour: Not Important
Create a 3D image of your ideal partner in your imagination but do not pick a person you know in real life and make him or her your ideal partner in your imagination. If you do this, you are violating the Laws of the Universe. You are not allowed to impose your will and desires on someone else without their express consent.
You can model after the physical traits of someone you know but never model “like for like” after someone you know. This is because when you model “like for like” after someone you know, you’re subconsciously imposing your will and desires on that person. This is not allowed because it’s a violation of the Law.
What’s important in all this is that you know what you want. This means if a detective agent asks you to describe your ideal partner, you won’t have any difficulty describing him or her. When you can do this, then you know what’s it that you are trying to attract.
When you know who you are and what you really want out of life in both the spiritual and physical sense, then attracting the things and the type of people you want into your life becomes really simple.
For any relationship to work, there must be boundaries. These are red lines. So what are your red lines in any relationship?
(9) What Are Your Red Lines In Any Relationship?
Another way of asking this question is: Which traits or behaviours are you not prepared to tolerant from your ideal partner?
You must have an answer to this question because people will walk all over you if they believe there are no consequences for their bad behaviours. Kids are sweet and loving majority of the time but a lot of parents also know that if they fail to punish their kids when they step out of line, the behaviour will only get worse, not better.
For you to attract and keep your ideal partner, you must have red lines. These are your rigid boundaries. These are things you won’t compromise on. I for one will end any relationship (romantic, platonic or business) if I find out the other person is dishonest and disloyal. I simply have nothing I can do with such a person. These are some of my red lines.
Again, go back to your Values List, the values you have on this list will help you determine which negative traits you consider as your red lines. It’s usually the opposite of your values.
Once you have established what your red lines are, write them down. When you have successfully attracted your ideal partner, you must make them aware of what your red lines are. It’s imperative that you do this. Going forward, It will save you from unnecessary heartache.
Deep down we are all kids, so we tend to be naughty when we are not forewarned about the consequences of our actions. It’s as if our inner child is looking for an opportunity to express it naughty side.
(10) You Can Only Attract What You Are, Not What You Want
The core message of this whole article is that “you can only attract what you are not what you want“. This is why “birds of the same feather flocks together“. It is why you must first work on yourself before you can attract your ideal partner.
A moral person will always attract a moral person and a promiscuous person will always find another promiscuous person extremely attractive although he or she might not know exactly why they find the other person attractive. This is the Law of Vibration and Attraction in operation.
The Law of Vibration dictates that everything moves, nothing rests and we are constantly moving towards things and people that are in harmony with the frequency of our vibration.
The great news is that our vibration is not fixed. It can go up or down depending on our daily life choices. If we change, so does our vibration frequency. So, your vibration is who you are and it is what attract things and people into your reality.
John Gielgud puts it perfectly when he said: “Before you can do something you must first be something.” Another way of putting this statement is: “You must first become what you desire before that desire manifest in your life“. This means if you desire to attract a health-conscious romantic partner, you must first be a health-conscious person yourself.
If you want to attract a loving, caring, kind, honest and loyal romantic partner, you must first become a loving, caring, kind, honest and loyal person. So in a nutshell, you will only attract what you are not what you want. The buck stops with you. The ball is in your court. It’s up to you how you play it. Stay the same or transform yourself into the type of person you want to attract. You decide.
(11) How Will I Know I have Attracted My Ideal Partner?
How will you know you’ve attracted your perfect partner or how will know you are attracting your ideal mates? Well, this is quite simple. If you have done all the work necessary as outlined in this article, you will notice that everywhere you turn to, you will see someone that looks exactly like your ideal partner.
You will see them in supermarkets, dance lessons, classrooms, in the gym and etc. In fact, you will be bumping into them on a regular basis. When this starts, as they will surely do, all you have to do is walk up to them and say: “Hi, my name is ‘A’, ‘B’, or ‘C’ and how is your day going/what are you up today?“. Just use common sense. Am sure you have the ability to make a conversation like a normal decent human being.
When you meet them, just introduce yourself and go from there. Don’t spend hours making conversation that leads to nowhere. Don’t divulge your whole life story to someone you’ve just met.
Keep all that stories for the actual dates or later in the relationship.
Although this article is primarily about “attracting your ideal partner“, I also know that some people might not possess the basic skill of interacting with their romantic interest.
If you’re one of these people, here is the simple five steps to making a basic conversation with your love interest just in case you’re struggling in this area: (1) Introduce yourself, (2) Inquire about them and how their day is going, (3) Inquire about their interest and hobbies if time permits, (4) Ask them out on a date, (5) Exchange numbers or Social Media contact details if they agree to your invitation. This shouldn’t take you more than 10 minutes. People are busy, so get to the point fast.
Also, have it in the back of your mind that, there isn’t that perfect person made just for you. If you have always believed this, now is the time to bin this belief. There are several perfect romantic partners for you. The Universe doesn’t deal in lack or scarcity; it deals in abundance. Look up to the sky at night, can you count the stars? Of course not, yet each of those stars is incredibly beautiful and wonderful.
Again, get it out of your mind that there is only one perfect person for you. This is a false mindset to have. There are hundreds, if not thousands of perfect romantic partners for you. It doesn’t favour the Universe to create just one person for you. It’s restrictive and it’s built on lack. The Universe operates with abundance, not lack. So, if you miss your chance with one person, there is another one just around the corner.
People are usually in their best behaviour in the early stages of any relationship, so it will take you between eight months and a year before you can truly find out if the person you’re seeing possesses the inner qualities you desire from a partner. No matter how much you might have liked them initially, never compromise on your list of “inner qualities you desire from a partner“. You wrote them down for a reason. Respect yourself and your list.
(12) Now Get To Work
Knowledge is not power. Knowledge is the possibility of power. Applied knowledge is power. If you read everything written here and you refuse to take any action, then nothing changes for you as far attracting your ideal romantic partner into your life is concerned.
But if you apply everything you have read in this article, you will see results. Not just any type of result but 10x results. This means results that are 10 times better than whatever results you’ve achieved in the past. But all these depend on you doing the work necessary.
If you do the work, I can guarantee that you will get the result you desire. This article is written on the presumption that you can show interest, start a conversation, keep a conversation going and get to the point as quick as possible. But for those who are struggling in this area, the five basic steps have been outlined in step 11 of this article.
In closing, let me repeat, you can only attract what you are, not what you want. If you want to attract a particular type of person, you must first become that particular type of person in character and lifestyle. When you do this, you will become a vibrational match for this type of person. This will make it really easy for them to come into your life.
Thanks for reading and all the best with your romantic life.
Give, even if you only have a little.
When you give, both you the giver and the receiver are equally blessed.