Please share. Sharing is caring.
I am like everyone else on this planet, born confident but as I progressed into my teenage and adult lives, I was conditioned not to be, although those who were responsible for my conditioning were not aware of the damage they were doing. The current climate is almost hostile to any person that displays confidence. It has become so bad to the point that people are actually afraid to speak their minds. So they end up agreeing with everyone just to keep the peace.
The problem with not being confident is that it inhabits you in every way possible. It renders you timid and shy all the time. If you are a man, whenever you see a beautiful lady whom you would like to talk to, you wouldn’t approach her even though every fibre of your being was urging you on. Lack of confidence is a terrible thing. It is like a disease a lot of people have, but somehow they managed it covertly thereby hiding the damage it’s inflicting on them on a daily basis and this shouldn’t be so.
The fact is that you were born confident and rich but today am discussing confidence or lack of it and how to acquire it in as little as in 3 months. A lot of people have tried to become confident by learning how to display confident behaviours. This is the wrong way to go about it. I know because I tried that too. I learned how to walk confidently, talk confidently and look at people in a confident way but at the end of the day, was I a confident man in those days? No. It was all a mask. It was a charade.
Because then, when issues that require real confidence comes up, I shy away from them. Then, I could be at a social gathering and a lady will be smiling at me, giving me all the signs to come up to her and chat, instead of doing what a confident man will do, I simply stay put and rationalise it with, “I don’t want to disturb her”.
Does this sound like you? You display confident behaviour but can’t stand up in public and talk? You were taught to maintain strong eye contact but you can’t walk up to a man or woman who you are interested in because “you don’t want to disturb them”? If this sound like you, I want to assure you that, there is a shortcut to lasting confidence.
I don’t really need to lecture you about confident behaviours because this topic has been well covered by some of the best in this area of human behaviour. But for the sake of this article, I will shed some lights on the topic.
Confident behaviours are simply behaviours a confident man or woman will display. These behaviours include but not limited the following:
- Walking with your chest out just like soldiers do whenever they are marching.
- Looking forward when walking instead looking down. I.e. Heads up and look straight.
- Looking people in the eyes when talking to them.
- Deliberation in body movements.
- Firm handshakes.
- Arms spread out when standing.
- Maintaining eye contacts for as long as possible.
This list is not exhaustive. I just wanted to highlight some of the well known confident behaviours. If you are struggling to think of someone who displays these characteristics, think of Hollywood characters like James Bond and Lara Croft.
What am trying to say is this, you can learn to display these behaviours to the best of your ability but they will never make you confident. Because you are only acting and when no one is looking or when you think no one is looking, you will switch back to your normal self who is likely a timid and shy person.
A lot of Youtube confidence “coaches” only teach people to display these confident behaviours because they themselves don’t really know how to turn a shy and timid person into a confident individual. It comes down to that old adage: “you cannot give what you don’t have“. Deep down a lot of this so-called confidence coaches don’t have what they are trying to give.
So displaying of confident behaviours will never make you confident because it is not from the inside. It is an act and like every act, it is not real. It is an imitation of the real thing.
How To Acquire Confidence
How do you then acquire confidence? One can acquire confidence through various means because there isn’t one specific means, method or channel for acquiring it. Some people acquire their confidence through becoming really good at a particular profession. While others acquired confidence by overcoming trials and tribulation. I know someone who went from shy to extremely confident because they started a project and against all the odds they made it a success.
When you look at all the examples I have stated above, you will notice one common theme and that is “believe in oneself” or “self-believe“. Without belief in yourself and in your worth as an individual, you can never truly become confident. It is as simple as this.
It takes “self-believe” for a musician to practice a song or a dance routine more than a hundred times. It also takes “self-believe” for a boxer, painter or astronaut to do whatever is required to accomplish what they have set out to do. If I did not believe in myself I certainly will not have the confidence to write this blog.
You acquire confidence by having a high self-esteem and self-believe or another way of putting it is that you need two things to fix your lack of confidence; high self-worth and belief in yourself. Luckily there is a wonderful lovely lady called Marisa Peer who has already made a 20 minutes hypnosis tape which you can listen to every night before sleep to increase your self-esteem. The hypnosis tape is free and you can get it from this link. Listen to it every night before bed and you will notice that suddenly you have a higher value of yourself. I find her voice very soothing. Am sure you too will.
Am sure Marisa Peer hypnosis tape will take care of your low self-esteem or self-worth but I will give you a knowledge you can use to skyrocket your self-believe. It is called the mirror technique. It works like magic. I have learned a lot of things in my life but nothing seems so simple but yet extremely powerful as the mirror technique am about to tell you now.
Acquiring Confidence Through The Mirror Technique
The mirror technique is a system whereby you talk to yourself and awaken the confidence you were born with. This confidence has been dormant and locked away. Now is your time to unlock its door and wake it up.
How to do it
(1) Get yourself a mirror that will display at least from your head to your shoulder but preferably get yourself a tall and wide mirror like the one here.
(2) Stand in front of the mirror every morning immediately you wake up and just before you listen to Marisa Peer self-esteem hypnosis tape at nights. Look right into the depth of your eyes as if you were searching for your own soul and say the following:
I James Ward is a confident man. I am confident. (James Ward is an example. Use your own name and gender).
When I walk I walk with confidence.
When I move I move with confidence.
When I talk I talk with confidence.
There is confidence in the way I talk, move, speak, look and do things.
I am confident because I was born confident.
I am confident at every second, minute and hour of the day.
I am confident at both expected and unexpected times.
People talk about my newly acquired confidence.
I am confident.
I am courageous.
James Ward, you’re a confident, courageous and competent human being. You display confidence and competency in everything you do.
Do this routine for a minimum of 90 days. I will advise you to make it part of your daily routine from today onward. This will dramatically increase your confidence.
Confidence is in short supply because society hates those who can think for themselves. People are bombarded by a propaganda machine called the news media. This propaganda machine is conditioning people to be timid, fearful and do as they are told. Timidity is a disease that if left unchecked will spread to every part of your day to day life.
The fact is that you’re born confident but this confidence has been gradually rendered dormant because of the way society and the media conditioned you. I cannot make you confident and no one can. The best anyone can do for you is to help unlock the storehouse of your inner resources. And today I just showed you how you can unlock the storehouse of your unlimited confidence. You have it already, I just showed you the key to unlock it. Unlock that confidence and see how suddenly your life will change for the better.
I hope you’ve found this article useful in one way or the other. If you know anyone who might find it useful, please be kind enough to share it them using the share buttons at the top of this article. Please also share it on your social media pages. Someone might find it helpful.
Also, you are free to use this article for teaching. All I asked for is to be properly referenced.
Have a wonderful day.