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A lot of people go through life trying to please everyone. They never live a life of there own. All there decisions are based on what others think and approve. These type of people are too afraid to rock the boat or stand up for something. This is not living. This type of existence is very damaging to any individual, both physically and spiritually. You can’t, and should not live your life based on other people’s opinions and approvals.
In this article, I will be discussing why should know who you are and what you stand for. These two things are the very foundation of personal progress and growth. Once you know who you are and what you stand for, this will inevitably lead to you having enemies. As the quote above said, having enemies “means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.” It means your life has a purpose, a meaning, an authentic identity and its expression is unhindered.
When the real you come forth to experience life without caring about other peoples opinion or approval, you will experience real growth and you will also make enemies. These enemies are not to be avoided. In fact, you should embrace their existence in your reality. The importance of enemies is so vital, that some coaches will advise their students to deliberately make enemies. But for you to make real enemies, you need to know who you are and what you stand for. So who are you?
Know Thy Self
Do you know if you walk up to most people and ask them “who do you think you are? Or Who are you?”, most people will spend a vast amount of time trying to think of who they are and what they represent.
The fact is that majority of people simply don’t know who they are and what they stand for. They have been conditioned to subscribe to the herd mentality. You see this behaviour being displayed by women a lot. If a woman likes a man, she has to check if that man is OK with her friends. If her friend or friends says the man isn’t good, she’ll simply accept her friend or friends opinion as the gospel truth. It is as if the woman can’t decide for herself even though she is grown, woman.
In our current reality, the majority of people don’t know who they are or what they stand for and because of this, it becomes easy for the mainstream media to influence their likes and dislikes. In fact, most people base their opinion on most matters on what they have been told by the TV’s, Radios, Magazines and Newspapers.
You have to understand that each individual is unique and different. Due to this uniqueness and differences, it becomes vital for your personal growth for you to know who you really are and what you stand for.
An individual is a brand with traits and uniqueness. For you to know who you really are, you need to go back in time and do the following:
(1) Think about your childhood. Try to remember it as clearly as possible.
(2) Take note of your characteristics during your childhood.
(3) Think about your teenage years. Try to remember it as clearly as possible.
(4) Take note of your characteristics during your teenage years.
(5) Now compare the two list. You will see some characteristics that appeared on both lists.
(6) The traits and characteristics that appeared on the two lists are your true self.
If you noticed that on both lists that stubbornness, for example, was present, it means you’re a stubborn person and there is no shame in being stubborn. You just have to apply that stubbornness to difficult situations that will come up in your life.
If you cannot do this, simply ask yourself, “who am I and what do I like doing most?” The answers to these questions will reveal your true personality.
You must find out for yourself, what your strengths are, your weaknesses, your likes and dislikes. The answers to these questions will reveal to you who you are. You might not like what you discover as your true character and personality but it’s better you know yourself than for you to be continually living the lives of other people.
Once you find out who you are, you owe it to yourself to be true and honest to yourself and identity.
To Thy Own Self Be True
There are several times when someone will post something on a social media platform and within few hours of the social media post, a consensus emerges. What normally follows is that any subsequent participant of the post simply agrees with the rest of the group. This is herd mentality. Most people who agreed with the group opinion are actually of a different opinion but they are afraid to rock the boat. They don’t want to disturb the peace. They want to maintain there social status standing among the group but in agreeing with the rest of the group on a matter they fundamentally disagree with, they have lied to themselves. They have denied their true self an expression. They haven’t been true to themselves.
To thy own self be true is a motto I have adhered to, even at the cost of friendship. I rather stand in solidarity with my beliefs and principles than to deny them.
When you figure out who you really are, there will be times when your true self will be tested but you must be true to your character and beliefs.
Agreeing with everyone is something those who have no principle or character do. They do this to fit in. You are not on this earth to fit in. You are here to live and experience life on your terms and conditions. You don’t owe anyone anything neither does anyone owe you a thing.
When you develop this type of mindset, it’s inevitable that you will have enemies. This is good too. Enemies are important for your personal growth.
Enemies Are Vital Component of Success
Show me a man who has no enemies and I will show you a man who stands for nothing. An individual who’s friend with everyone has usually sacrifice there true nature on the “alter of people pleasing”.
Having enemies means you stand for something. Your life represents something and you should really take it as a compliment that you have enemies. You might be asking how can having enemies be good for anyone? I shall explain.
The existence of an enemy or enemies will force you to better yourself. Your enemies will force you to sharpen your skills and keep you focused on your goals. The fact that your enemies are looking for an opportunity to mock and laugh at you will also increase your focus and determination. And because you know that the fundamental wish of your enemies is that you fail, it will force you to summon all your energy and believe to achieve a goal.
Reading everything I have written in the previous paragraph, it should have become clear to you why you must have enemies. They play a vital role in your personal growth and development.
Most people live their lives trying to please everyone but end up unhappy and miserable. You can’t live a life of people pleasing. You will never be happy if you focus your energy on pleasing or making people happy just because you don’t want to offend anyone.
You should know who you are and what you stand for. Know your characters and principles and live by them. No matter what you do people will still get offended, so why waste vital energy trying to please people in the first place?
Live your life the way you want and if by doing so you inevitably offend some people, welcome them with open arms to your reality.
These people who happen to get offended, are in your reality to play a vital role. You can call them enemies, critics or consultants but they are in your life to play a vital role.
Apart from them wishing you misfortune, they are also there to point out your flaws. Flaws you need to work on. Your friends are unlikely to point out your flaws because they don’t want to hurt your feeling but with enemies – your unpaid highly skilled critics, their sole job are to find faults you need to work on. Companies pay millions each year for such services.
From today henceforth you shouldn’t avoid making enemies. Instead, you should welcome them with open arms to your new reality. They are a vital component to your success.
I hope you’ve found this article useful in one way or the other. If you know anyone who might find it useful, please be kind enough to share it with them using the share buttons at the top of this article. Please also share it on your social media pages. Someone might find it helpful.
Also, you are free to use this article for teaching. All I asked for is to be properly referenced.
Have a wonderful day.