There are several things that are abundant everywhere on this earth. Air, sand and lies. I omitted water intentionally. Although 70% of the earth is water, still water is not abundant everywhere on earth.
So the three things that are abundant everywhere where humans live are air, sand and lies.
There are several lies you were told while you’re growing up that you ignorantly believed. At some point in your life, either through observation or research, you came to realise that this information was false.
In this article, I will be focusing on one specific lie. This lie is so powerful billion dollars industries are built on and around it in almost every country. I used the sentence “almost every country” because I have not visited every country on earth, so I can’t say for certain that billion dollars industries are built on this lie in every country on planet earth.
Which lie am I talking about? This is the lie of unconditional love. Unconditional love is a myth and a lie. It’s a lie that will easily fail the test of “unconditionality” at the very first hurdle.
Before I proceed, let me reference the scriptural verse for this article, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” This, my dear reader, is the first and only display of unconditional love. Am not saying this because I read the bible or because I grew up in a Christian household. I am stating as a spiritual being who understand human nature that Jesus Christ was the only living being that ever displayed unconditional love.
No human is capable of unconditional love towards another human. This includes everyone – your mum and dad included. I know this claim is controversial but I shall explain and make it clear to you that at the very beginning where unconditional love is tested, it was found missing. Every love you see has conditions attached to them including the love of a mother towards her child. The belief that romantic relationships can be based on unconditional love is responsible for the majority of divorces in our society now.
I will begin my explanation of the fact that unconditional love is a myth, an idea which we humans would like to believe in its existence but it doesn’t actually exist because it’s impossible for us humans to display this trait. I am deliberately starting at the very beginning where unconditional love is assumed by all to exist but it actually doesn’t exist there. Where is this love junction/point? This is the love between a mother and her child.
Mother and Child Love
While I was growing up, I was a mummy’s boy. I love my mum dearly and my love for my mum now is the strongest it has ever been. The thing I realised about love from my childhood observation was that “you have to give love to get love back“. My mum loved me dearly. I felt this love and I returned this love back in whatever way I believed that I can show my love towards her.
I believed then that mum love towards me was unconditional and a majority of people believe that their mother love towards them is unconditional. Those with this belief are both right and wrong.
When an individual grows up and says “my mum loves me unconditionally“. They are both right and wrong. They are right to believe that right now that there mum love towards them is unconditional BUT they are wrong to believe that their mum love towards them has always been unconditional.
A mother can not continue to feed a child that refuses to grow. – Africa Proverb.
Read the proverb above carefully and try to understand the message it carries.
The fact is that when a woman gives birth to a child whom she loves dearly, she genuinely believes from the bottom of her heart that she is willing and ready to give up her life for that child. She believes that her love for that baby is unconditional but this genuine love of her towards her baby is not unconditional. Let me explain.
The proverb above states it clearly that “A mother can not continue to feed a child that refuses to grow.” This proverb is making it clear that (1) A requirement exists for the continuity of the love of a mother towards her child and that (2) If this requirement is not met that there would be consequences for the child.
When a child is born, there is a condition or requirement which must be met by the child for him to continue to receive the love of his mother. This requirement is that “the child must grow“. This means that the baby must attain physical growth. If the mother feeds her baby for 2 years and the baby still remains a baby after 2 years, it’s either she finds a way to discreetly kill the child or hand him over to other people who will have a go at trying to making the baby meet the requirement of his mother love.
No woman on this planet earth will give birth to a baby, feed the baby for 5 years and will still keep that baby if the baby still remains the same physical size it was at birth. This will never happen because after 18 months the baby will become an object of shame towards her mother and the gossips and laughter it will generate in the community will just be too much for the mother to bear. What will happen to such baby is that he or she will “have an accident” that will lead to there demise. Which is another way of saying “discreetly disposed of“.
So, you see that although most mother on this planet earth will like you to believe that their love towards their children is unconditional, the fact is that their love had a requirement at the very beginning and but the requirement was met by their baby. The condition was that the baby must attain physical growth.
99% of humans alive today met the requirement of “physical growth” and once this requirement was met the love between an individual and his or her mum looks like it’s unconditional but it wasn’t at the onset.
Now you know that unconditional love hasn’t always existed between a mother and a child, let’s look at the fantasy by some people who believe that unconditional love is attainable in a romantic relationship.
Romantic Relationship Love
If you take a careful look around you, you will notice that fewer people are getting married and divorce rates are increasing every year. You can make all sorts of assumptions as for the reasons why, but the simple truth behind this trend is that people are still ignorant about love.
A lot of people foolishly believe in the lie of unconditional love and immediately this belief that’s based on a lie is tested, it fails, as it should.
When you talk to both gender, they are always talking about finding someone who loves them for who they are. It’s usually, “am looking for someone who will loves me for me.” If you are currently operating with this mindset, then I kindly ask you to stop.
The fact is this, people will only love you if you meet their conditions for love. It’s as simple as this. There are always conditions attached. These conditions can be external (physical) or internal (spiritual) qualities. But there are definitely conditions attached to love in the romantic sense.
Some people have the habit of calling people whose conditions for love are mostly external (physical), shallow or gold diggers. This name calling is done in the ignorant believe that loving someone for their internal (spiritual) qualities is not a condition.
Whether you love someone for there external (physical) or internal (spiritual) qualities, the fact still remains that you have a condition, a requirement for the offering of your love. It is not up to me to decide whether having an internal (spiritual) qualities as a requirement for your love makes you superior to someone whose requirement for love are mostly external (physical) qualities.
The purpose of this article is to make it clear to you that there are conditions attached to every romantic relationship. These conditions can be external (physical) or internal (spiritual) qualities, or sometimes both.
When you know the conditions on which your romantic relationship is based on, you can work towards it longevity. The reasons why there are so many breakups and divorces is simply because people do not know which conditions their relationships were built on, and because they do not know, when these requirements which were met at the onset of the relationship are no longer met, they can not see or imagine that their relationship would collapse. And since they are ignorant of the conditions of love in their relationship, they are oblivious to the fact that once the conditions for love in any relationship are no longer satisfied, that relationship is good as dead.
If you know on which conditions your romantic relationship was formed, then you know that once those conditions remain satisfied, the relationship will continue to blossom.
Why Unconditional Love Is Impossible
When someone says “I love you“, it simply means “I like you because you like what I like most of the time“. For unconditional love to exist there must no reason, no conditions attached to that love. It means no matter what the person does, you will continue to love them regardless. If the person sets your house on fire you still love them. If they kill your family members you will continue to love them. If they stole everything that belongs to you, you will continue to love them. If they destroy everything you care about, you will continue to love them. You and I both know that no sane, normal human being can love in this manner. This is why unconditional love is impossible.
We, humans, are designed to love but our offer of love must not be detrimental to our wellbeing. We are designed to survive. We have an inert need to survive. This need for survival supersedes all other needs and desires.
For us human to reach the point of unconditional love, we must first evolve to the point whereby we have no need to survive. We must evolve to the point whereby we stop caring about ourselves and our needs before it can be possible for you and me to offer our love unconditionally. Currently, we have not evolved to this point yet, this is why unconditional love is currently impossible.
Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. – John 15:13 KJV.
If you’ve read to this point, then we can both agree that am not preaching the gospel to you. Am not a Pastor. Just a spiritual person that reference the Bible from time to time.
Am quoting the biblical verse of John 15:13 because it’s the only display of unconditional love in our reality. Christ was able to display unconditional love because He managed to evolve His mind to the point where His inert need to survive was quenched but not completely destroyed. It wasn’t easy. You have to remember His request in Luke 22:42 “Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.” He (Christ) realised when the time of his death was near how difficult, if not impossible, it is for anyone in this human flesh to give total unconditional love.
Unconditional love requires you not to care about your existance. This is impossible because you’re actually here on earth to exist. That’s your primary purpose here. You’re here for self-expression. Giving that up is not something that is humanly possible.
If Christ asked for permission to be omitted from giving unconditional love in human flesh, what chances do you, a normal human being have to offer it? The answer is zero. You can’t give what you do not have. You as a normal human being do not have the capacity to give unconditional love. And it’s OK.
So whenever you see people going on about unconditional love, kindly explain to them that it does not exist. Not in our reality at least. I personally believe that unconditional love will never exist between humans. There must be conditions attached – either physical or spiritual conditions.
Knowing all these, it because clear that those who preach unconditional love are talking about the love that exists between a mother and her child. But what these people are ignorant of, is that this mother and child love has a condition attached to it at the onset. And that’s the requirement that the child must attain physical growth. If the child remains a baby after 1 or 2 years, the mother’s love for that child dies. It dies simply because the one condition she placed on her love for the child has not been met.
I will end this article by simply saying this, whatever love you are currently receiving or giving, make an effort to know the conditions that that love is based on. when you know which conditions the love is based on, maintaining that love is reduced to you simply ensuring that those conditions are maintained.
I hope you’ve found this article useful in one way or the other. If you know anyone who might find it useful, please be kind enough to share it with them using the share buttons at the top of this article. Please also share it on your social media pages. Someone might find it helpful.
Also, you are free to use this article for teaching. All I asked for is to be properly referenced.
Have a wonderful day.